Mommy vs. Wild

Have you ever found yourself humiliated standing in the grocery line from something crazy your kid said?

I have.

I will never forget the time I was waiting in line at Apple Market, when my 3 year old son loudly told the women in front of us that she had a big bottom.  There was no place for me to hide and when she turned to me and asked, “What did he say?”  My son repeated his compliment again, “You have a big bottom!”

My son was famous for his unique love for keys as a toddler.  He obsessed over cars, keys and people who owned keys.  He would stare you down until you grudgingly took out your car keys and handed them over the little key stalker.  We had to remind him daily that he was not in charge of the family, but there were times I truly wondered who was in charge.  One day, we were walking in an outdoor market when a man walked around the corner in our direction.  He was a little person and I noticed out of the corner of my eye Michael staring at him with curiosity.  I was preparing myself to answer some meaningful mommy questions about being different and not starring or saying mean things to people, when all of a sudden, he ran up the sidewalk before I could grab him.  I had no time to react and gulped as he made it to the man, stopped dead in his tracks, and stared eyeball to eyeball.  I could tell the man was preparing for the worst, too.

A few seconds passed and my son said in a loud direct voice, “I sure like your keys!”  I looked down and the man had a massive collection of keys hanging from his belt.  He burst out laughing as he handed Michael his key chain to hold.  I’m sure his sigh of relief didn’t compare to my sighhhh, but I can bet you he still talks about the crazy kid who loved keys.

I think being a mom is one of the wildest adventures we can explore.  There are no maps, guides, or compasses to help us through the craziness of mommyhood.  It reminds me a little of the TV show Man vs. Wild.  Bear Grylls gets dropped into the wilderness and has a few matches, a knife, and a string to survive.  There are dangers at every turn and I cringe, covering my eyes every time he eats a bug or raw lizard or dead zebra.  I haven’t had to eat many live bugs during the 16 years I’ve been a mommy, but I have definitely learned a few tricks how to survive the craziness in the wilderness of mommyhood.  I have turned down so many wrong turns and clawed my way out of crevices that seemed impossible.  I think that is why we need each other sometimes to send up flairs – fiery bright lights to help each other navigate through the rough waters.  I truly appreciate my girlfriends, fellow explorers, who hold my hand when mommyhood is hard and difficult.  Thank you bloggy friends for encouraging me as we start our 2nd adoption.  Honestly, you have covered me in support when I feel discouraged and afraid and weary.

Please share with me some of the crazy things your kids have said or done. (and humiliated you in the process)

I want to hear…

If you have never watched Man vs. Wild here’s a sneek peek:


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